population heading

All the islands' residential settlements are on Great Tortoise Island in the north with population concentrated in the capital of the Tortoise Islands — Los Midas. Other major cities include Brisburg, Wallidistan and New Las Vegas (a replica built by the Tourist Commission). The combined population of the Tortoise Islands is believed to be about 5 million.

None of the citizens of the Tortoise Islands live in the dangerous wilderness of Lost Island. In fact, only a handful of explorers and researchers have ever been known to return from visiting there, though many have tried.

The Great Gold Rush of 1887-1888 was the second biggest gold rush of all time, second only to Sovereign Hill in Australia. However, before he died, a prospector by the name of Oswald Rafferty revealed that there was a lode at least twice that size on Lost Island, but it has never been located. The sole remaining nugget, one of the largest ever found, was described as "one of the smallest ones" and the only one he was able to save from the shipwreck in the Strait of no Return. For more than a hundred years, the legend of Rafferty's Lost Reef has captivated the imagination of adventurers, gold-diggers and prospectors — all tantalized by the prospect of fabled riches.

media heading

Media on the islands is spearheaded by the major international news magazine Loungecast and overseen by the National News Commission (NNC). The official contract for the Tortoise Island's internet communications was awarded to Turtle Portal in early 2001.

Another well-known major international group, the WCD (see also the "Research" article following) administers the islands' internet connection with the outside world. It also operates a continuum link to a gyrotron operated by the Time Machine Tribune from which irregular reports are obtained from the future.

politics heading

The island's main party is led by His Excellent Excellency Dear Leader Raymond Sunshine, President, and leader of the Free Beer Party (FBP). The FBP is extremely popular and has been in power continuously since 1952.

The Opposition consists of a coalition of diverse parties dominated by the aggressive Headhunters Party (HP). Policy advice is provided by the Mental Institute for Strategic Studies which is led by Prof Willard Travis.

crime heading

The island's most wanted convict is undoubtably Killer Greely, the notorious Australian fugitive now believed to be hiding out in Los Midas. Also on the top ten wanted list are Bad Dogs Bloggs, the Professor and Mouldy. Convicted felons (those who are not at large) reside at His Excellent Excellency's pleasure at the notorious Doggo Road Prison in Brisburg. The sophisticated Tortoise Islands Police Department is run by Police Commissioner Ed Elmsby and a crack team of agents and officers.

 

currency heading

The Tortoise Islands' currency is the Coconut Dollar ($C) which is administered under the central control of the Feral Reserve and chairman Dr Greenhorn. And with billions of coconuts growing freely on trees, the citizens of the Tortoise Islands are considered to be the wealthiest in the world. Turtle Portal includes a free currency converter. The Tortoise Island's Government currently holds the world's third largest gold reserves, guaranteeing the prosperity of the nation.

The Tortoise Islands has one of the most successful and prosperous banking sectors in the world today. The largest bank, Tortoise Bank, was established in 1889 at the end of the Great Gold Rush and over the years has grown to become the international financial colossus it is known as today.

industry heading

Historically, the islands have prospered via its successful agriculture sector, spearheaded by Jungle Bird Seed (which controls more than 80 per cent of the world bird seed market) and Jed's Horse Feed (chief supplier to the US war effort in Afghanistan). In the technology sector, companies like Satanco (genetic modification) are increasingly dominant.

Today, Getmore Global is the country's largest company with diverse interests around the world and whose Chairman Frank W Getmore needs no introduction. Getmore Global is now one of the 20 largest companies in the world, and is also the largest shareholder in Tortoise Bank. Other major corporations include Dumblon Cosmetics, Nukula Mobiles and Natural Plutonium.

celebrities heading

All of Tortoise Island's most world famous movie stars and musicians live right here on Great Tortoise Island. The world's largest robot Kingpin Tin has been seen on the north island numerous times and he is believed to maintain a base on Lost Island.

The world's most controversial superhero Bloooperman has also occasionally been sighted in the cities of Great Tortoise Island.

research heading

The World Chaos Disorganization spearheads scientific research on the islands. The WCD has built a huge complex of research laboratories in the south of Great Tortoise Island since being expelled from the USA in the late 1980s. A joint facility is also operated in association with the Great North Wallidistan Zoo at the top end of the island.

The Mental Institute for Strategic Studies is the Islands' premier research institute. The MIFSS provides strategic policy and research advice to governments and corporations around the world.

Joint ventures are also being explored with Satanco and other technology companies and organizations worldwide. The WCD is headed up by the award winning scientist Prof Mort Grippen and a formidable team of ground-breaking scientists and researchers from around the globe.

religion heading

The friendly inhabitants of Great Tortoise Island are a deeply spiritual people. About 40 per cent of the population worship a giant turtle, and another 40 per cent a giant tortoise. The rest belong to various cargo cults or are led by the famous evangelist Eternal Jim Jones.

geography heading

The Tortoise Islands are located approximately 1000 miles (1600 km) south west of the Galapagos Islands, the nearest major country. The islands are distinguished by incredible volcanic mountains, dense jungles and giant lakes. No humans live on Lost Island, and none live south of the DMZ in the south of Great Tortoise Island where it is considered far too dangerous.

The two main islands are separated by the notorious Strait of no Return. The Strait is considered to be the most dangerous in the world. The unique underwater geography, where the former land bridge to Galapagos (now submerged) amplifies powerful Pacific currents many times over to create the world's most powerful current. Huge volcanic rocks lie submerged and uncharted in the strait making navigation unbelievably treacherous.

leisure heading

Whether it's the golden panoramas of Great Tortoise Island's magnificent beaches, the colossal snow-capped peaks of the gigantic Malice Mountains, an incredible adventure is assured for visitors to Tortoise Islands. Whether it's enjoying the pleasurable rewards of gaming at Los Midas Casino or Farce City Casino, or visiting world famous tourist attractions like the incredible and inspiring spectacle of the Statue of Limitations, fun and happiness are guaranteed to visitors to the Tortoise Islands.

dinosaurs heading

Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of dinosaurs live on Lost Island, part of the Tortoise Islands group of islands. Archaeologists have concluded that the dinosaurs walked to Tortoise Islands on a Giant Land Bridge from Galapagos around 180 million years ago during the Mesozoic Era. Lost Island is the sole surviving country which still has dinosaurs today.

Precise knowledge is difficult considering the intense dangers existing in the jungles of Lost Island, the densest and most extreme in the world. Unfortunately, very few teams have ever returned alive from expeditions there.

The world's most feared dinosaur, Godzorro, is generally believed to be based on Lost Island. He is one of the principal reasons expeditions to the island are few and far between.

The true identity of Godzorro, the masked monster, has never been discovered. Many theories and rumors circulate around the world (the most prominent theories are detailed on his website) but none have ever been proven.

 

tortoise islands logo

 

TortoiseIslands.com

Official site of the Banana Republic of the Tortoise Islands

More information about the islands appears in Loungecast

Turtle Portal.com

INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS
World Chaos Disorganization.com  |  World Stealth Organization.com
Mental Institute for Strategic Studies.com  
|  Mother Nature Index.com

MAGAZINES
Loungecast.com  
|  Time Machine Tribune.com

GLOBAL ENTITIES
Godzorro.com  
|  Kingpin Tin.com  |  Bloooperman.com  |  Killer Greely.com

SOVEREIGN GOVERNMENTS
Tortoise Islands.com

USEFUL INFO
Statue of Limitations  
|  Currency Converter  |  StockWatch

BUSINESS DOMAIN NAMES FOR SALE
NetsiteDomains.com  
|   FiveLetterDomains.com

Website by Click as a Flash

Partner Company: Center For Domains

Website by Click as a Flash

© 2001-2012 David Tyrer  All rights reserved

Special Note: This site is entirely fictitious!

This site contains audio and is dependent on Flash ™ animation. (Flash is a trademark of Adobe® Systems, Inc. The Flash player can be downloaded from Adobe.com). However, a brief text summary of the sites can be read at turtleportal.com/text_only.html for the vision or software impaired. The text of Loungecast, Time Machine Tribune and Tortoise Islands home page appear in HTML.

DISCLAIMER AND COPYRIGHT NOTICE. All material on these sites is purely fictitious. Any resemblance to any living person is entirely accidental and unintentional. Apart from any fair dealing for genuine review purposes (which include the URL: Loungecast.com or TortoiseIslands.com) no part of these sites may be reproduced or transmitted in any form whatsoever without the express written permission of the copyright holder. The right of David Tyrer to be identified as the author of this work is asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. The Tortoise Islands site shall not be re-transmitted, printed, lent or otherwise circulated without the written permission of the copyright holder, and shall not under any circumstances have these conditions waived for any recipient. The artistic integrity of the work contained herein may not be altered or repurposed in any way, shape or form without the written permission of the copyright holder. Site created by Click as a Flash™. Click as a Flash's registered Australian Business Number is ABN 62 188 088 529.

 

button to loungecast

button to turtle portal

button to click as a flash

button to hostgator